I am trying to support at the best I can. Sometimes I am out of energy. I almost give up then I think of my baby and just go back on my feet forgetting all the tiredness. My back hurts, I have to carry him most of the time. I do go out of patience handling him whole day. I am not a super women. I am just doing the best I can.Even I want to laze around whole day doing nothing but have I lost the liberty? No! I am doing it for myself. No one has forced me. I know things will settle down soon. But I am human, I need support, not the physical support always but two words of love and care.
Its very easy to complaint about not doing things correctly. But its my first child I don't have an experience I am learning too along with him. Sometimes it brings all the morale down, gives a feeling of no one is happy with all you do. No two people are same, neither their situations nor the level of patience. Please don't compare.. I know our mothers were doing great they had so many issues small house, so many people to cook for, no maids. But they had their positive sides, so many people to handle the kid. They never bothered. So many people to keep watch on the kid on what he is doing, what he is eating.My life is not comparable to anyone else. I know I have maid for cleaning and cooking. I have comparatively bigger house. But I am working too and I don't have anyone to watch my kid. I need to wait to pee as well until he falls asleep. I need to feed him myself. I need to give bath to him myself. I need to dress him myself. I have no one to guide me. I need to run after him whole day to watch him, he should not put any unwanted object in his mouth. I have no one in the house to do it for me. I have my own share of struggle but I am not complaining about it. I am trying my best to handle everything. All I expect is two words of love and care.
Along with him I have to handle my office as well. With so many things in mind (he ate or not, he had milk or not, he shouldn't have hurt himself....) I need to give my deliverables on time , handle all meetings. I need to keep patience and not give up. Its not that someone has forced me to work but that's my passion. I don't want to give-up. I am trying to manage and not complain. It's not that my salary will add up too much to the house hold but its the satisfaction which I am looking for. Its one way of motivation to me. It makes me feel that I can raise my child with utmost pride and make him independent. To make him realize that pursuing passion and not giving up whatever the situation may be should be the attitude.
It's not that I want to shower him burden of grit that I struggled to raise you and you should take care of me when I am old. No! I don't expect anything. I will be happy to see him do something for himself rather doing for me. I would want him to pursue his passion no matter what the situation may be. All I would expect is two words of love and care...
